A few years back, I met a mom that I so badly wanted to be like. She was way cooler than any other mother I met. If I ran into her while picking my kids up at preschool, she’d invite me and my kids over and hand me a glass of wine while the little ones played. She was always booked with crazy plans–lunch plans uptown at the best restaurants, weekend trips out of town with her husband, dinner parties, and happy hours every few nights.
I was like a high-school girl all over again when I’d run into this mom. I so wanted to be like her and be liked by her. I totally wanted to be cool and hang with her and her crowd. My mom-idol knew how to party, she knew how to have fun, and she definitely was someone I was in awe of. I dreamed of being besties with this mom so I could be a “cool mom” like her.
After a summer of trying to keep up with the lifestyle of my mom-idol, I realized I couldn’t hang with the big dogs. I couldn’t do happy hour every day. I wasn’t comfortable hanging at the pool in a teeny-tiny bikini; and my body was never going to look like mom-idol’s body. I wanted to go out to fancy dinners or go away with my husband each weekend, but I knew that it meant spending more money than I’d be comfortable blowing. I realized I couldn’t keep up with my idol-mom and her “Real Housewife” life; and I sadly had to move along and focus on spending more time with other moms whose lives were more like mine.
Being the cool, partying, money-spending mom sounded like fun, but just wasn’t who I could be every day. Realistically, I am the rational and careful mom. Sure, I enjoy happy hour with friends; but our happy hours happen about once every couple months. Fancy dinners are more exciting and special when my husband and I plan them less often. I work out, but I just can’t spend all day trying to get as small as some of the other moms I see. This is the body I have, and it’s never going to be comfortable in a tiny two-piece. I love nice things, but I also like teaching my children that we don’t need a lot of material things to enjoy our lives. My idea of fun most nights means sitting on the back porch with a good book.
I haven’t seen my “cool mom” friend in a couple of years, and I still feel a bit jealous when I see pictures on social media of the life she lives compared to my mom life. Truth be told, I would never have truly been comfortable living such a glamorous-looking life. I’d have to change a lot of what I believe in to be able to fit into that mom group. Trying to keep up with that lifestyle that one summer helped me realize that being cool is completely exhausting, and I’m happy with my own normal, simple life.