I’m Facebook friends with most of my ex boyfriends from high school on. Some people have acted surprised by this. No, I’m not friends with them so I can stalk them. I’m not friends with them so I can laugh evilly when they are having a rough time. Our relationships ended many, many years ago; and there is no reason why I can’t continue to be friends with them. There are some healthy and positive reasons why I chose to be their friends on social media.
They were (and still are) good guys.
The majority of my boyfriends of my past were good guys. They were friendly, hard-working, smart and creative. They were good to me, my family, and my friends. They didn’t do anything crazy or destructive–if that were the case I’d stay far away from them (and I wouldn’t be talking about continuing to be friends with exes).. But if they were genuinely good guys, why not still be connected through social media?
We all have a past.
We all have a past history of relationships before the one we are in now. Everyone does. My husband knows I dated other men before him, and I know he dated other women before I came along. We all have lived a past before we got to where we are today. There’s no need to erase that past or act like it never happened. It did happen, I’ve moved on from all those relationships, I learned from them, and I’m in a different place now. Living in the present doesn’t mean you have to ignore everyone that was a part of your past.
I want my girls to know they can have healthy relationships with guys that they are no longer involved with.
I’m raising three girls who will have boyfriends come and go as they grow up. I want them to know that sometimes those relationships don’t work out; and it’s OK. Sure, some of those relationships might end painfully, but others will probably end amicably. Still being friends after the romance is gone is perfectly OK, and it shows maturity too. My exes and I have gone separate ways, but we still wish the best for each other.
Keeping contact with relationships of your past can be meaningful and a good thing. I’m glad that I do, and I wish the best for those guys from my past.