I am really bad at saying no. I have always been a yes-girl. Are youu looking for someone to watch your kids? Want someone to go out with? Need someone to drive you around because your car broke down? Looking for a last-minute volunteer for a project? I’ll do it. I’m a helper! I want to make sure you are happy. It’s OK if I have to rearrange my day to get you what you need. Ask me whatever you want help with, and I’ll most likely say yes.
But I have to admit, all those times I said yes, I bet 1/3 of the time I really needed to say no. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to help when I can. Some of those times, though, I shouldn’t have said yes. I had other things going on, but I was so worried about letting friends and others down. While I was saying yes so much, I was giving up things I wanted or needed to do for myself. It’s taken me lots of years to figure this out–but I was often saying no to myself in order to say yes to everyone else in my attempt to make them happy and help them.
I now realize that when I say yes to others, I need to make sure I”m not saying no to myself. This year, I will say no when I need to, and I will not feel guilty when I need to say yes to me.
I hope you will take care of yourself, too, and say yes to yourself more often.