In my head, there’s nothing better than a Spa Day. I imagine how relaxing it’ll be. I picture the masseuse working out all the tight muscles and knots in my back as I relax and listen to the peaceful spa music playing in the background. Afterwards, I see myself sitting with my legs up in the seating area, enjoying a glass of champagne, my body completely free from tight muscles, in complete bliss.
I scheduled a Spa Day with a good friend of mine last week. I couldn’t wait to spend a day of relaxation while the kids started their school year and I started my year of going back to being a stay at home mom. It would be the perfect treat, and I was ready for those relaxed muscles and that bliss I was looking for. But in reality, I’m awful at relaxing. Instead of enjoying the peace and tranquility, here are some of the things that went through my head during my 50 minute massage…
Please don’t fart, please don’t fart.
I wonder how many people actually fart when they get a massage…that would be so embarrassing!
Oh, God, stomach! Seriously, don’t growl now! (big growl rumbles from my stomach)
(While I’m face-down on the massage table…) What is the massage therapist thinking right now? What if she’s making faces at me? Maybe she’s sticking her tongue out at me. She could be doing the dab or some crazy jig and I have no clue what’s going on since I can’t see her. What in the world is she doing while she’s giving me a massage?!
Do you think the massage lady’s hands get tired? I bet it’s better to be the first massage of the day because her hands aren’t worn out yet. I wonder what types of bodies come in here. Does she ever get grossed out? I could never be a massage therapist. I don’t have the patience to rub backs all day long. I wonder if my body grosses her out…
Ok, try to think calm thoughts. This is a massage–you should be relaxing and enjoying the silence. How much longer is this massage? I wonder if my time is almost up. Ugh, hurry up. I’m so ready for my glass of champagne.
Oh, no…I think my time is almost up, and I haven’t relaxed much. Think calm thoughts, think calm thoughts.
Crap, my hour’s up! I seriously could use another hour of massage. I didn’t get enough time to relax 🙁
As much as I love, love, love a Spa Day, I still have to figure out how to shut my thoughts off so I can chill out. I’m so bummed that I spent my 50 minutes on the table thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts. I wish I would’ve been able to shut off my brain.
I did enjoy putting my feet up, chatting with my friend, and sipping on a glass of champagne afterwards, though!
This will have to become a goal for this year…I think it might be time to schedule another Spa Day so I can work on enjoying the massage and the relaxation… 🙂