To Those Who Secretly Don’t Like Me

I know there are people who secretly don’t like me. And, you know what? It doesn’t bother me. I do have some things to say about it, though.

We’ve all been there. In our circles of friends, at work,  at our kids’ schools. I’m sure you’ve run into your share of people who you know don’t like you, but they pretend like they do when you are around. You know the ones, the twenty-question folks who are just fishing for gossip or information….”Hi, Julie! What do you think of the new PTO board at school? Aren’t you good friends with that one new board member? What does she say about what happened last year?” Or the people you run into, kind of look you up and down (more judgmentally than not), and greet you in a sugary-sweet, syrupy (basically fake), “Oh, hi! It’s so GREAT to see you! I’ve missed seeing you!” There’s also the last category, the ones that will not talk to you when they are out on their own, but they will act like buddies with you if they are part of a circle you are hanging out with or meeting with.

It reminds me of high school “mean girls” all over again. Here’s how I feel about it all. I’m in my mid-forties. I got over the secret dislike stuff a long, long time ago. I don’t act like I’m “pretend friends” with people I don’t really like. I’m not mean to them, but I don’t act like I’m interested in everything going on with them. I’m polite and MATURE and I will say hello or respond to any questions or conversations they try to have with me. But that’s where it ends. I don’t talk to them to fish for information. I don’t pretend to like them. I’m over that game.  But I won’t treat them with disrespect.

I saw this quote online the other day, and it prompted me to write this post.

I prefer people who are real about their feelings, their friendships and what they care about.

So, to those who secretly dislike me, you don’t have to pretend. Because, most likely, I’m fully aware of how you feel and I’d rather you be real. I’d respect you much more for that.