Overall, I am a big fan of summertime. I love the relaxed schedule. I (mostly) enjoy spending more time with my kids and going to the pool or to the park with them during the weekdays. I look forward to getting together with friends and cooking dinner on the grill. But there is one all-American food I have a big aversion to when it comes to summer grilling. Two words: hot dogs. I despise hot dogs. They are, seriously, the grossest food ever, and here’s why I feel that way:
- What the heck is in a hot dog?
First of all, what kind of meat is in a hot dog? I asked one of my seven year-old daughters what she thought was in one, and she told me that she thinks it’s made of dogs. Not true, but I’m not really sure exactly what leftover parts of meat are included in a hot dog. I’ve googled it in the past, and the list of random ingredients grosses me out. A “meat” made of leftover animal parts and fat is not my idea of a delicious meal. Sorry. Absolutely disgusting.
- I had a bad experience with hot dogs as a kid.
True story. My mom’s friend was watching me and my sister and brother one afternoon. She took us with her to the butcher so she could purchase some items. As a “treat”, the butcher gave each of us a cold hot dog to eat and enjoy. I remember taking a bite and dry-heaving because of the texture and because it was a chilled hot dog. I know a hot dog is pre-cooked or safe to eat cold or whatever (a Boy Scout told me that fact); but biting into the refrigerated, unheated dog that day was sickening. I “mistakenly” dropped mine on the ground in the parking lot as we were leaving the store so I couldn’t finish it. One of my worst food experiences ever.
- Hot dogs smell disgusting.
There’s nothing worse than the smell of leftover hot dog water after you boil one. Or the smell of one cooking in the microwave. That smell brings me back to the cold hot dog butcher day and I just want to heave. I love the smell of a fire burning, but throw a hot dog on a stick to cook it over that fire, and I’m completely turned off. I can smell that cooking wiener smell, y’all. It’s nasty and gross.
- Hot dogs look like a you-know-what.
You know what I’m talking about, and if you don’t then I’ll give you a bigger hint. They look like a male body part. And I just can’t bite into a hot dog because of this. In fact, truth be told, I have trouble eating anything similarly shaped. Call me crazy, but I’ll gag if I bite into a sausage, banana or other hot dog-shaped food unless it’s cut up into slices, cubes, whatever. I refuse to bite into a food that’s shaped like a you-know-what. It just seems wrong.
Sure, I’ll let my kids enjoy hot dogs, and I’ll even make them for the kids if we are short on time for dinner. When hot dogs are part of a casual grilling-out dinner with friends, I avoid watching anyone who’s wolfing down a wiener. I do my best to hold in my opinions while others are chowing on a dog or asking for seconds. I have my issues with this summer staple, but I’ll do my best to allow others to make their own hot dog decisions. After all, what would summer be without grilling some dogs?