Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

I had a week last week. It was one of those weeks where I moaned and groaned and did the whole “poor me” thing most days….

I should’ve been a librarian.

I should’ve never quit my job.

I would’ve volunteered this week if someone had asked me.

I could’ve been a better mom today if I had read that second book to the girls.

Could’ve. Would’ve. Should’ve.

Do you over-fill your head with these thoughts some days too? I can easily make one “could’ve” turn into hundreds. Then I am down and miserable about myself. Then I want others to tell me that all of that stuff isn’t true, and I am an amazing person. Then I just want to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself as a wolf down a pint of cookie dough ice cream.

That’s the point where I tell myself I need to get over it. I need to be an adult and be responsible and accountable for my decisions and not mope over them.

One thing I need to remind myself of sometimes, and I’m here to remind you, too, is that it’s never too late.

You should’ve never quit your job? Well, then go an get another one. Or contact your old employer and let them know you’re interested in returning if something opens. You should’ve gone down a certain career path? Then go do it! You could’ve been a better mom? We all could be better at something, you can’t beat yourself up.

We are all doing this life thing the best we can.

We all have regrets.

We are the only ones that can make changes for ourselves.

So instead of pulling the “poor me” card, do something about it.

You always wanted to be a teacher, doctor,  or a (fill in the blank here)? Then go for it! Do what you love and don’t live regretting that you didn’t.

Someone makes you unhappy? We all deserve happiness, so it might be time to have a heart-to-heart with that person or make the decision to move on and find happiness in yourself or elsewhere.

You must take care of you. No one or no thing can make you happy. As I get older, I realize more and more that I am in control of my life, my wants and needs, and I need to make the changes to be who I want to be and live the life I want to live.

I can’t “poor me” all day long, because it gets me nowhere. I need to get up off the couch and decide what I want to do and make the changes to achieve it.

We can’t beat ourselves up over every little thing. There’s always going to be something we should’ve done, we could’ve changed, or we would’ve completed. It’s up to us to decide if we are going to do those things, make those changes, or complete those goals.

So, a little less “poor me”, y’all. And a little more, “I can, I will, I should….”

Be more kind to you, and take care of what you need to feel happy and successful.

My Girls are Kind, and That’s Most Important To Me

I am probably one of the world’s worst parents. I wish I was more like other moms that have set routines for their children, only feed them organic meals, and limit TV time.

But that’s not me. My kids eat cookies and sweets more than twice a week.  The twins sleep in my bed or on the couch way more nights than they sleep in their own bed. Our TV is on a lot, and the girls watch You Tube on our home computers daily. I don’t push them to read extra, and I let them read the minimum minutes required each night for homework if that’s all they want to do.

I would never be nominated for The Best Mom award by far.

But, the one rule I am consistent about and will not give up on is this:  It’s important to be kind. I will not put up with unkind words or actions.

I believe my most important job as a mother is to raise kind, caring girls–girls that take care of others, give when they can, and want to make our community better.

I expect my girls to participate in community service events, and I expect the same from myself. I expect my girls to have nice things to say to others, and I expect this from me too. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t share it. There’s always something kind you can do for someone each day. Find ways to be kind.

I encourage my girls to help others, whether that’s in their classrooms, on the playground, or out in public.

I am inspired and proud when one of them asks for money to help an organization, or when one of them asks if we can volunteer for an organization.

Through acts of kindness, I’ve seen my daughters take quiet friends under their wing, select and provide needed supplies to their teachers, help around the house to raise money to give to organizations in need, ask if we can help bag or deliver food for families in need, and collect books and blankets to give to small children.

These kind actions mean more to me as their mother than any other routine. I don’t care if they wear mismatched clothes, if they watch too much TV or if they eat cereal and milk for dinner.

I care that they know the importance of giving and being kind to others, and that is the greatest skill I can teach them.

 

I Let My Kids Do The Christmas Decorating Because I’m All About The Memories

A couple weeks ago, we put up our Christmas decorations. Stockings, the tree, snowmen and Santas….my husband pulled all the boxes down from the attic, and we went to town getting the house all festive.

Our decorations in the house are kind of a mess….most rooms don’t “match”, the ornaments aren’t placed evenly around the tree, and there’s a little bit of Christmas in every room.  It’s a bit chaotic and mismatched, but we love it.

Why? Because it was created by the kids. The girls do the majority of our decorating. I let them be the creators because they all love Christmas, they get excited about decorating the house for the holidays, and I want them to be making memories.

I don’t want them to think the house has to look perfectly put together to be a Christmas beauty. I don’t want to criticize them for how they arrange the stockings or where they put the ornaments on the tree. I want my daughters  and my husband and I to have a fun and enjoyable time getting our house ready for the holidays. I want the girls to pull out their preschool creations and say, “Oh, mom! Remember when I made this snowman in Ms. Laurie’s class?” or “Look at this picture of me in kindergarten! My ponytails are so crooked!”

I truly believe life and growing up is about spending time with each other, making memories and less stress. Our Christmas decorations are hung with love, a little creativity from three very talented girls, and with joy.

Hanging decorations at our house isn’t a chore each year. It’s full of fun memories and sweet moments spent together, and I hope to keep it that way for years and years.