I love to work out. I used to love running and anything that got my heart rate going. Unfortunately, due to Grave’s Disease, my doctor suggested I focus on types of exercise that keep my heart rate from going through the roof. He suggested classes that were more low key and less stressful.
Yoga–I’m trying to learn to love you. But it’s tough.
First of all, I am one of the most non-flexible persons you will meet. I cannot touch my toes. My body just refuses to stretch out. It doesn’t seem to get better as the class goes on either. Everyone in yoga class doesn’t seem to have this problem. I’m constantly having to use blocks or straps to force my body into yoga positions. Everyone around me seems to be able to get into whatever pose the instructor advises without any problem.
Second, I cannot for the life of me shut my brain off. The instructor is telling the class to breathe in and out and focus on breath, to clear the mind. My mind will not stop. The whole time, I’m thinking: How much longer is this class? I have so much laundry to do when I get home. I should’ve had another coffee this morning. I need to remember to swing by the store to grab a gallon of milk before I head home. Oh, wait, breathe, breathe, this song is so boring… I have tried to focus on my breathing and the soft, calming music that they play in class. But I can’t keep the thoughts from coming.
Third, I cannot do the class with my eyes closed. It’s too nerve-wracking. I’m constantly peeking around to see what everyone else is doing. I start to compare my poses to theirs. Ugh, it’s so frustrating to not be flexible! How the heck does that lady do that handstand thingy? Oh, God, how much time is left in this class?
But, for some crazy reason, I keep returning to try yoga over and over again. I am convinced that at some point I will be able to close out all the thoughts in my mind and I will be able to focus on breathing and my yoga poses. I will be able to do triangle, bow and happy baby without grunting and using extra yoga equipment.
Yoga, I’m not going to give up on you. I’m trying to love you–hopefully one day soon that will happen.